Jesus' beloved
  • pondering…

    I wonder if I’m ready to take the next step say ‘yes’ in ministry, it has been hinted at by some of my leaders, and even prayed over me during camp by someone who I’m sure has absolutely no idea this is going on. And honestly, even if it were to happen three years down the road, I’m not even sure I would agree to it. Yes, I know the calling and gifting is there, and really, that’s all Jesus. Maybe the hesitance is cos I’ve been burned one too many times. Maybe it’s because I don’t want the responsibilities & commitments and just want to be selfish for once, like just let me travel, see the world, do whatever I want in my career even if it means working some weekends. Maybe it’s cos part of me (however deep down) still feels that serving back there was just a waste of time, that it was pointless sacrifice, so just let me serve where I am now, nothing more. 

    I often wonder why so many of us who left, who were once so passionate in serving in ministry would literally shudder at even the thought of serving again, I guess it’s just the “what ifs”. “what if” it’s like what we experienced before, or “what if” we see the imperfection (cos every church, every ministry is imperfect) and find it too similar or get scared away? “what if” we’re asked to submit blindly again? “what if” we get burnt out again and really get scared off ever attending a church again? 

    At the end of the day, I guess it’s trusting Jesus that He’s the author and finisher of my faith, that if it ever comes to that again, He’ll be right there once again to get me out of it, and that faith will not be lost because what He has started, He will be faithful to finish. But…why is it so hard to even consider saying ‘yes’ again? Is it worth the risk? Then again, you don’t get anywhere if you don’t risk it sometimes.

    Or maybe it’s saying ‘yes’ if/when it ever comes to that and seeing Him take what is in ruins (ministry, leadership, perspective of ministry) and making it glorious. 

  • o.o

    yesterday was…a day of surprises, to say the least. 

    We had a CG servers meeting, only none of us knew deacon was going to be there as well. And we shared about various stuff, which I’m not going to go into, but to sum it up, our CGL is going on ministry break cos of his wedding and I’ve been asked to take on an additional role.

    Then I read the events ministry assignment of roles (I can’t get into exactly what till after camp) and again, they’re something that requires me to step up and out. AND all these after my meeting with Sharon two weeks ago, and it seems like it’s a constant theme; stepping up, leading, in other words, so NOT me, I like my behind-the-scenes thank you very much. But I know that when God calls, He anoints and He provides (was actually sharing that with one of my CG members and what do you know? what I shared spoke to me too). 

    All I can say is that it’s gonna be an exciting journey ahead, one I take perhaps not altogether willingly at first, but I’m sure that whatever He calls me into, I’ll enjoy (eventually :P) cos He knows me better than I know myself. 

  • Marked Camp 2012

    this is super long overdue! Cos I wanted to type out all the sermon notes first and now that’s done. 

    Marked Camp 2012 was a whole different experience firstly because I was serving in events this time round and secondly cos for Marked Camp 2010, I was barely 2 months in church and going to camp was more an experience thing, didn’t really know what to expect, but God, of course, over-answered, over-supplied. The theme in 2010 was “The Signature Life” and it was about having the wisdom of God and there was an altar call on restoration, I never thought that what I received at camp in 2010 would be multiplied so many times over in my life. It’s totally amazing. 

    Honestly, if anyone told me I would be serving in church again then, I wouldn’t believe them, I just wanted to attend and that’s it, didn’t even feel like forging new friendships because I’ve a bunch of friends who came over to NCC as well though they’re not attending CG (COCJB is a whole different story cos Pst CK is there and it’s a very familiar, comfortable relationship, doesn’t feel like serving, but more like doing things together with friends). But 2 years on and I’m thankful that Jesus brought a group of us girls together in that precious friendship and that my CG is close-knit, we meet often outside of the usual service & CG days, for suppers or movies and it’s just so fun and uplifting to hang out together. And serving; I was talking to Pst Dan once and he told me that the fact that I’ve stepped out to serve is already God’s restoration taking place cos it shows that I’ve received enough to start giving again, and serving in events ministry is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, love seeing the workings of God behind-the-scenes. Of course there’s also CG, one of my wishes for 2012 was to be more involved in CG and by that I didn’t mean leading holy communion, I wanted to do more admin, not on any platform sort of things, but Jesus decided otherwise, and honestly, leading holy comm is a privilege and it just shows me that His restoration is always better in quantity and quality. 

    I can’t wait to see what I received at Marked 2012 multiplied in my life soon! 

    So, on with it. 

    Day 1

    The groups were a mixed of different peeps from various CGs, and thank God mine had Eileen, Tanya, Jac & Kai :D 

    Spent the trip over to KL catching up with Eileen (cos, being busy with camp planning and all, didn’t actually get to talk to her much) and catching up on sleep. There was surprisingly no jam and we actually got there faster than that time when we did the recee, I guess that was God showing us favor even though we didn’t know that was the theme of the camp yet.

    And it rained at the hotel quite a bit even though I’d checked the weather for the next few days and the forecast indicated that it’d be sunny throughout our trip, was just reminded of what Pst Dan shared at DTB when he said that God’s favor pours down like rain. AWESOME! 

    We’d a bit of time to rest, then it was prep for the mass games. It was awesome seeing everything come together (finally)! This took 2+ mths of prep which was incredible for such a complex and large scale game, planning for the game proper (aft brainstorming and narrowing down) took us about 7-8 weeks, and we could only do it cos it was Jesus doing it through us. 

    Say hello to the Chemiolux drug production line. 

    The Word on the first night was quite literally mind-blowing. Even though we’re all so familiar with the story of Joseph, Pst Dan showed us a fresh perspective of it, and I was just so blessed! I want the CDs out ASAP, I think this is one sermon I’ll just keep looping. Was actually thinking a lot about favor prior to coming to camp. I think God was preparing me for the Word, remembered one instance during events meeting where we were just talking about random stuff and I mentioned that my brother is in OCS and he’s never really had to do weekend guard duty even though he’s been there for almost a year now, and Darren said that’s unusual, and he thinks it’s because I’m so favored that it spreads to my family too. Never actually looked at it that way. 

    John 3:16 at Clementi at 7am (our group number was 16, which means love in biblical numerics so what better name than the ultimate verse on love?)

    Day 2

    Pastor Joe shared the Word in the morning session! It was awesome! 

    Then we had mass games. Show time for what we’ve been planning for the past 2 mths! And it was chaos! We had all sorts of issues pop up, but cos Jesus is the center, it turned out well. I know that some people didn’t enjoy the game simply cos they’re not into these types of games, but I’d the most unexpected people (from my CG) say that they liked it and even some people who I don’t even know who told me they felt the game was high-level, well-executed and engaging. Praise Jesus! There’s definitely a lot we can improve on though. 

    The evening session was WOW. Ministering went on for quite a while and I’m amazed how specific the calls were, Jesus even dealt with long-time fears & ailments, it’s like, those are issues we could get used to and it’s just part of everyday life, but Jesus loves us so much that He doesn’t want it to be part of our lives. AMAZING. Felt so so loved. That was the day the first two of my camp expectations were fulfilled. 

    And after, Pst Dan shared about how when we have the revelation of Jesus for the purpose He was created, that of the eternal servant, that is when we receive the most favor. MIND-BLOWN! 

    Day 3

    We had men’s and women’s meeting in the morning which was supposed to end by 12.30pm or something, but ended at around 2.30pm, yes, we can go on and on about the same topics, but it was good! 

    Had a rehearsal for finale night that day too. Kudos to the amazing worship ministry who were so accommodating to the changes and of course, the rest of the awesome performers too! George’s item was hilarious!  

    Also had Q&A in the evening which was so fun! + our pastors and leaders are so real with their sharing. 

    We had more P&W and ministering after. Pst Dan did an altar call for those who were recently struggling with whether to go for full-time ministry or pursue the things of the world, and that’s so me. And he said, “the time to go full-time is now”. 

    After the sessions ended, Dev popped by to say hi cos he’s based in KL now. So good to see him! Great catching up with him, Dave and Vince. Glad to see that everyone’s moved on. Dev left at 2plus and Dave & I stayed on and chatted till almost 3am, he shared a bit about what it’s like in full-time ministry without knowing that I wanted to go full-time. Really amazed at how Jesus has transformed all our lives in this very short year and a half. I think if anyone would’ve told us we’ll be where we are at now, we’ll be shocked. 

    Day 4

    The last session of camp was EPIC. Ministering went on for almost 4 hours. 

    We sang “God of My Forever”, and gosh…the memories! this is a song used in zone meetings a lot for ministering at CHC, and it’s usually for calls like leadership, influence, serving, renewed consecration. Francine and I were just giving each other a look when we heard the opening chords. 

    Pst Dan led free-flow ministering again and went on to other songs, but after a while, he went back to “God of My Forever” and he gave an altar call for full time ministry AGAIN. And his words were “if this song speaks to you”. Seriously! OMG! God sure knows how to get my attention - the song, the altar call a second time, the sharing with Dave just the night before. 

    Indeed, “my greatest honor will always be to serve my Lord and King”. 

    So yes, waiting for the right time, right place and hello full-time ministry! 

    The team with Pst Dan. So blessed & honoured to serve with them, their spirit of excellence & heart for serving the campers just amazes me all the time. ❤s

    Finale night was exciting to say the least. It was play-by-ear! But the night turned out well.

    John 3:16 @ Finale Night! 

    Finally, a pic with the beloved Bishan St 24 CG! It was lovely seeing everyone all dressed up! And thanks Francine and Leah for helping us gals with hair and make-up! 

    The Marked’12 Programmes Team

    We were meeting twice to three times a week, and I’ve learnt so much from each one of them. Serving together with them = priceless

    Darren, the veteran! So much to learn about events from him.

    Israel, really impressive heart for serving, always offering to help in whichever area that is needed. And his ideas are WOW. 

    Kev, our awesome programme I/C, can’t even begin to imagine how he handles all the different portions of the programmes. 

    Maurice who totally rushed out storyline and stuff before he’d to fly off for training, and then came back and jumped right back in. awesome! 

    Reuben and dude, where do those codes even come from?? 

    Tanya and her script-writing/video/directing skills are EPIC! 

    Yiling, who always make sure we have our meals whenever she’s around, and though she’s busy with the roomings and all, she’s still supportive of the team and tries to be around as much as she can. 

    One of my absolute fav pics from Marked’12, always so amused at the varied expressions.

    After Finale Night ended, we had extended P&W which ended at 1am? Then Tanya, Jansen, Francine, Mel & I decided to meet in our room and we chatted till 5plus. I wish I’d more time and energy to spend with my camp group, but I’m usually only comfortable with people I know well when I’m tired out, so sharing what we received during the past few days with the closer ones in CG was great! 

    Day 5

    The final day at camp! We’d breakfast and caught up with some of our group mates. Hui Min sat at our table and she remembered me from the time we met at the food court cos Israel was there. LOL. She sure has a good memory. Chatted with her about random stuff and somehow we touched on CHC and she said she knows of Vince and the rest too, and then I shared with her about wanting to go full-time, and she, Dave, and Sharon (who I talked to 15 mins after I finished talking to Hui Min) all said the same thing! That God will open the door and to just step in. 

    The trip back was again, smooth flowing traffic, so favored! We all left camp feeling so loved by Daddy God. 

    And it’s amazing that Marked Camp started on 1 May, beginning the month of grace with grace and camp ended on 5 May, grace x grace. It could’ve been any other date, but it wasn’t. 

    Nothing like 5 set-apart days spent just basking in Jesus’ presence and forging stronger kingdom friendships; camp > vacation.

    Can’t wait for Marked Camp 2013! :D 

    Didn’t get to spam as many pictures this time round :( But it’s ok! there’s always more opportunities to hang out in SG. 

  • this is one of my fav pictures from Marked Camp 2012, Reuben’s high, Kev just looks so stunned, Israel’s channeling his evil mastermind finger & Tanya & I look happy; it’s just so events ministry! diverse, hilarious, fun, CRAZY. ♥s

  • Marked Camp 2012 was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! Nothing like 5 set-apart days spent just basking in Jesus’ presence and forging stronger kingdom friendships; camp > vacation. The Word and ministering were just so timely, especially as I was thinking about favor so much before camp and the theme of pastors’ sermons was Favor.

    Serving for camp was a tad stretching, but I received so much more (as compared to going as a camper). Sure, the drawback is not getting to spend as much time as I would like with my camp group, but in terms of receiving from Jesus, it’s like He just released the floodgates, whether it’s receiving through serving via the mass games, finale night, or through ministering. We’ve learnt so much from each other and from the other ministries. Like Coach Yvonne said, mass games, especially, is a set-up for us from Daddy God, when we had the debrief on Tuesday, we talked about how so much things could have been done better or communicated more effectively and although we collectively felt that it was a mess, some of us also shared about how campers came up to us and told us how much they liked the game and that it was well-executed, and these aren’t our friends, just people who recognised us as event servers. I guess, sometimes, when we’re in it and it’s messy, we don’t see how others see it. And I haven’t even gotten started on the receiving from the planning stage. Just felt so favored and loved during camp. 

    And this is just the beginning, the seeds are just sown. I can’t wait to see the fruits, can’t wait to see lives changed. Looking back at Marked Camp 2010, I know that what I received at camp has been multiplied many times over; it was about wisdom and restoration. 

  • Marked Camp 2012
  • "anything can happen and it probably will."
  • The team with Pst Dan. So blessed to serve with them, their spirit of excellence & heart for serving the campers just amazes me all the time. ❤s #MarkedCamp2012 (Taken with instagram)

  • We’re less than a week to Marked Camp and it seems like so many details aren’t settled yet. I just love the spirit of excellence of everyone in the team and how we always remind each other to serve from rest. It’s amazing how much gets done even though we’re all busy with work. Serving for Marked Camp really is a privilege and it’s really about receiving more than it is about giving, I’ve learnt so much and just gotten closer to Jesus cos of serving, it’s about depending on Him throughout.

    Just expecting Jesus to come fill in the gaps during camp! It’s gonna be awesome cos He’s involved. Waiting to see our water turn into wine in His hands.